The Colonoscopy

A colonoscopy for me is a bit of a bizarre experience.

I turned up at the appointed time and was given a bunch of forms to fill in about my medical history, next of kin and current meds. I did all that and then they took me into another room where a nurse went through my form with me asking me to further explain some stuff, I asked why this was and she replied that they needed to know if there was going to be anything that would cause any issue for either me or the doctor during the procedure, they would be taking biopsies and some meds even though not for blood thinning are anti coagulants.

Next they took me through into the “pre-op” ward, I had to get undressed and into a hospital gown plus some paper boxers with the hole at the back. Once I had done that I had to get on the bed and they took my blood pressure and O2 stats. The consultant them came and saw me and went through a couple of things on my forms, in particular what symptoms had triggered the request for a colonoscopy and my O2 levels.

It’s always my O2 levels, I was reading 92-94% and that concerned her a little but I explained for the last 9 months that has been normal for me.

I keep track of all my vitals via the Ihealth app ( more about this in another post) and equipment so I was able to show her my history for the last year and she could see the sudden drop where I get ill in Jan and then the slow climb back to the current levels.

After seeing my charts she decided the procedure would go ahead but I would be having oxygen during it, I signed the consent forms and off she went. The nurse came back and inserted a cannula in my arm, took my vitals again and said that I was ready and they wheeled me into the theatre.

The consultant injected me with Buscopan, Fentanyl and Midazolam via my IV line and then it all started getting weird. About 15 seconds after the injections I could feel myself “zoning out” and I recall saying to the consultant “this is really good shit” to which she laughed.

I was lying on my left said with a good clear view of the monitor and what happens next I can only describe as “fractions” because the next 25 mins only happened to me in “fractions”.

I was vaguely aware of the nurse putting the oxygen mask on and then I looked up at the monitor and could see inside my bowel..whoa..wait a min here, what happened between the oxygen mask going on and getting to this point? I have no idea at all, absolutely no recollection of it whatsoever, you would have thought I would have noticed someone putting something up my arse? but no, absolutely no recollection at all.

The next thing that happened is the consultant saying “all done”..again a whoa, what happened there moment. that’s what I meant “fractions” a whole 25 minutes of my life gone which me having almost no recollection it at all but more importantly no pain and no discomfort at all

They then wheeled me into the recovery room where I was for around 30 mins, I did “zone out” a couple of times but after 30 mins I guess the effects of the meds had worn off and I was pretty much fully awake, they checked my vitals, said I was fine and told me to get dressed, after I have done that I went to the discharge suite where they gave me coffee and biscuits, partener then arrived to take me home, they won’t let you leave unless you are with a responsible adult, they gave me a copy of my report and sent me on my way.

The worst bit? the day before and taking the laxative to clear my bowels, I hated the taste of it and I hated the effect combine that with no food for 36hrs before hand and only allowed to sip water for 3 hours before the op was the nasty bit, the op itself, well I really don’t recall much at all but there was absolutely no discomfort.

It’s now the next day, the effects of the meds have fully worn off, except for the laxative and I am told it will be 2-3 days before my bowels return to normal, so I have to be very careful about farting.

Well that’s my Colonoscopy.

Steve Woodmore

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